Monday, August 25, 2008

renovations dad style

So being the dutiful daughter that I am I decided to give my father one day of my two weeks off to help him renovate. (He and mom go from empty nest to two daughters and three boarders: Bedrooms needed to be carved from the deep dark depths of the basement.) So I am put to work on a harmless, yet not altogether mundane task: Clean and prime three basement windows.

Window number one: clean outside of inside pane. Clean inside of inside pane. Clean between inside and storm panes. Clean inside of storm window. Decide to knock storm window out of the frame to clean all crevasses. My fist is unable to supply enough force. Grab hammer and father to supervise. Tap along left side, right side, bottom, top, left side, and then through window pane. Supervisor removes hammer from my grasp and orders me away from the window. I comply.

Windows number two and three. I clean outside of storm windows from the exterior of the house.

While on exterior of said house a downpour commences. Concrete walkway along the edge of the house has been excavated with only a deep mudded valley in it’s place. Deep valley begins to fill. This is helped along with the waterfall pouring off the eaves. I ponder above situations for 10 minutes. After careful analysis I have determined that this may indeed be a negative situation requiring immediate attention from my supervisor. I bang on side door repeatedly. (Door bell is, and has been for the extent of my memory, useless.) I bang more. Footsteps bound up basement stairs and away from me. Front door opens. I bang more. No footsteps. I run through the waterfalls and knee deep water to the front door. I bang. Footsteps and door opens. Supervisor is now aware of the issue (he sees waterfall). He runs to 2nd floor bathroom window where he proceeds to climb out on lower roof to clean blockage to the downspout. I run to downspout unaware of his course of action. I yell his name, blind to his presence above me. He responds and proceeds to dump his first armful of leaf, mud and roof granular mixture on to my head. I am speechless.

I immediately tendered my resignation on the working renovation committee of “the house” but as there was much consternation on hearing this pronouncement a spot was made available on the steering committee of which I am now a happy and contented member.

(“Dad, I need you to build a wall here with internet access 10” from the west wall. A plug is needed in two locations as I haven’t determined where I want my nightstand. I also would dearly love to have a light switch which controls the lights in my room. I need the insulation, tyvek, vapour barrier etc inside my wall. I need the holes in my wall patched. I want a built in bookcase right here……..”)